Riposte II

The witty comeback is often elusive, especially in the very moment it's needed. The French refer to this dilemma as "l'esprit de l'escalier," the frustration at not coming up with the perfect retort until you've reached the bottom of the staircase on your way out the door.

One of my favorite comebacks goes back a number of years, to an incident when Frank Zappa was being interviewed by the conservative and perpetually angry radio talk show host, Joe Pyne, an ex-Vietnam vet who came home from combat with a wooden leg. During the interview, Pyne was irritated with everything about Zappa, his free-wheeling political and social views, his bizarre clothes, and especially his long, straggly hair.

"Doesn't having long hair make you feel like a girl?" Pyne snarled.

"Not at all," Zappa was unfazed. "Does having a wooden leg make you feel like a table?"

Ouch... just once in my life I'd like to come up with a zinger like that.


Here are a few new quotes, on the subject of life and death:

Life is what happens while you are making other plans. —John Lennon

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off. —Johnny Carson

Perhaps there is no life after death...there is just Los Angeles. —Rick Anderson

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. —George Santayana

There is more to life than increasing its speed. —Mahatma Gandhi

Riposte suggestions are welcome, and will be published--if you pass through my finicky filter